Doula, Doula, Boboula

Banana Fanana Fofoula Me Mi Momoula

DOULA!

 

Say what now?

You heard me, I said Doula.

 

For any of my pregnant, thinking-about getting-pregnant, might-get-pregnant-one-day friends, this post is for you!

 

Let me ask you a few questions first.

 

1) Does your partner, boyfriend, husband, significant-other know what to do during childbirth? I mean really know what to do when you are in throws of crazy, mind-consuming pain?

 

2) Is your partner skweemish when it comes to blood, bodily fluids and poop?

 

3) Are you worried about getting the crabby, hates-her-life nurse who gets kicks out of stabbing you multiple times with the iv needle?

 

Well, I just might have a solution for you.
 

She's a wonderful, angelic-like creature known as doula who's sole job is to make you feel comfortable, informed and focused during childbirth.

Let me elaborate...

DONA International (the peeps who certify doulas) describe a birth doula as the following:

"A trained and experienced professional who provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support to the mother before, during and just after birth; or who provides emotional and practical support during the postpartum period.

A Birth Doula:
 

- Recognizes birth as a key experience the mother will remember all her life

- Understands the physiology of birth and the emotional needs of a woman in labor

- Assists the woman in preparing for and carrying out her plans for birth

- Stays with the woman throughout the labor

- Provides emotional support, physical comfort measures and an objective viewpoint, as well as helping the woman get the information she needs to make informed decision

- Facilitates communication between the laboring woman, her partner and her clinical care providers

- Perceives her role as nurturing and protecting the woman's memory of the birth experience

- Allows the woman's partner to participate at his/her comfort level"

So why hire a doula? 

Numerous clinical studies have found that a doula’s presence at birth:
 

- tends to result in shorter labors with fewer complications

- reduces negative feelings about one’s childbirth eperience

- reduces the need for pitocin (a labor-inducing drug), forceps or vacuum extraction and cesareans

- reduces the mother’s request for pain medication and/or epidurals

 

But more than the clinical reasons are the emotional reasons.

 

Some women like to have their mothers or other family members present during childbirth. To that I say 'to each their own'.

 I know my mother would have loved to be there but at the same time I think it would have been really hard on her to see me in pain. I know her well enough to know that she would have been stressed and anxious and those feelings would no doubt have passed on to me. Childbirth, especially when its your first rodeo is stressful enough as it is. I just wanted her to see the happy ending and not all the drama in between but at the same time I also wanted someone present who has been there before to comfort and support me.

 

 Enter the doula.

 

Here are my personal reasons for suggesting a doula:

 

1) She's a complete stranger. No need to worry about modesty. Trust me, when you are in the thick of labour you aren't worried about who sees your lady-bits but if your mom and dad are there you might regret it later? I remember I packed my nursing bra and decent full-bum undies to wear during labour but once those contractions hit me I was only comfortable being buck-naked.

 

2) She knows what she's doing. Chances are you and your significant other don't, especially if its your first baby. She can suggest different positions, see the signs of labour progressing and suggest what to do next, and be your advocate when it comes to making hard decisions. Registered doulas have to have been present at a certain number of births to become certified. Those who have been in the field long enough have seen it all. Having someone there who was a calm, supportive and knowledgeable presence made all the difference to me and for Simon.

 

3) She is always there. If you are counting on having a nurse support you through the whole thing, think again. Nurses sometimes have other women on their watch or an emergency comes up and you are left to fend for yourself. I was in labour for over twelve hours and she was there every step of the way. She even stuck around for an hour or two after to help me with breastfeeding.

4) Her sole job is to make you as comfortable as possible! Doctors and nurses are focused on the medical side of things, your partner is focused on the excitement of the baby they are soon to have and you are focused on not dying of pain. The doula is there to make you feel in control when things seem helpless, calm when things are chaotic and loved when you are screaming bloody murder.

So to all my preggo buddies and inquisitive friends I dedicate this one to you.
This may not be the option for everyone but it should definitely be something you should consider. Most of us will only go through childbirth a handful of times so why not try to make the whole experience as comfortable as possible?

To my friends in Ottawa thinking of hiring a doula, I highly suggest Victoria Kellett. I felt comfortable with her the moment I met her and I can't even explain how wonderful she was.
She met with us twice before the birth, stayed with us the entire birthing process, staying a few hours after birth to help me with breastfeeding, checked in on us later in the week to see if we needed help and wrote us a lovely birth story.

xo, Vicky
 

On the day Quinn Marlowe was born - Part Two

Just tuning in? 
Catch up and read Part One.


So where did I leave off... OH YES - HORRIBLE PAIN. Right. 

Ok so I begged like a mad woman for the epidural but was told the anesthesiologist was busy in surgery and couldn't get to me for at least another half hour. 

Excuse me?

 Don't you see that I might possibly die of pain? 

I need the drugs NOW! 

I was frantic.  
It was 8:30 am.

At first I refused other pain relievers, but when the realization that the nurses were not kidding about having to wait finally sunk in, I caved. Just as I was about to put the gas piece up to my mouth, the anesthesiologist walked in. I have never been more happy to see someone in my whole life. 

She brought me over the bed and started explaining the risks involved with the epidural, blah, blah, blah. I told her I was fine with it all and to get that needle in my back stat. STAT. 

I'm a HUGE baby when it comes to needles and before I experienced labour, the thought of having gigantic needle stuck in my back made my knees shake. 

Needless to say, I'm a changed woman. 

On the pain scale, I went from 150 to 2 in half and hour. 
It was HEAVEN. 
The nurse checked me and I was at 9cm. Although my original plan was to do this thing au natural, I'm pretty proud I toughed it out to 9cm. We decided to all have a nap to recharge our batteries for pushing and allow my body to naturally ease the baby down the birth canal. 

At 1pm it was push time. 
It was a very surreal feeling to push but not really feel anything. I kept asking, "am I doing it right?" to which everyone would say, "yep, keep em coming". I think we tried every pushing position in the book, but Quinn's head did not want to pop out. 

At 3pm, a doctor I had never met before strolled in, took a look and threw some scrubs at Simon. He was going to try using forceps to guide her head out and if that didn't work it was C-section time. 

After two hours of pushing, I was in a complete daze. I only remember seeing Simon holding scrubs and thinking something was wrong. I was wheeled in the OR where twenty nurses were prepping for the 'procedure'. It felt like I was on a t.v. hospital drama. Seriously. They topped up my epidural and it was game time. I was instructed to push as hard as I could for as long as I could with each contraction. While I pushed, the doctor tried to grasp Quinn's head with the forceps. After several contractions, the doctor finally said that if the next one didn't work, Quinn would be delivered by C-section. Simon started yelling at me to push as hard as I could and thankfully it gave me the extra strength to make the last push count. 

At 3:23 pm our beautiful baby girl was born. 

xo, Vicky

On the day Quinn Marlowe was born - Part One

 

Dear Quinn,

 

 On the day you were born, the sun was shining, turkeys were cooking, pumpkin pies were baking and everyone was reflecting on what they were thankful for.

 

On the day you were born, I was given my most precious gift – YOU!

 

I will be forever grateful to have you in my life.

Love you little turkey,

Xo Mama

 

******************************************

On October 7^th, 2011, I had my weekly obstetrical appointment at the Civic Hospital. I was 39 weeks, 5 days. My OB examined me and suggested that she perform what is known as a ‘stretch and sweep’ procedure. I won’t get into details, but let’s just say it involved both stretching and sweeping ‘down there’. Once she had finished, my doctor said she wouldn’t be surprised if she saw me in labor and delivery that weekend.

 

I left the office feeling crampy, but otherwise good. My grandmother had broken her hip a few weeks earlier and was hospitalized in the same hospital so we went down to the first floor for a visit. We joked that we would be seeing her later that weekend when we had our new baby girl; little did we know, we were right...

 

I continued feeling crampy that night and began feeling some tightening of my belly. I had been having Braxton-Hicks contractions off and on for a while so I figured that was all it was. We called our doula, Victoria and told her about the stretch and sweep. She suggested that Simon and I go out for dinner that night as it might be our last night together as a party of two. Taking her advice, we went to Lonestar for dinner (my FAV). While eating dinner, I started to notice the tightening was happening fairly often. I got out my iPhone and started tracking them on my contraction app. The timing was all over the place so we went on eating and enjoying each other’s company. I continued to track the contractions when we got home but we decided it would be best to ignore them and get some sleep.

 

At exactly 2:33am I was awoken by what can only be described as a karate chop, a pop and then a trickle of warm fluid. I quickly ran to the washroom and yelled at Simon to wake up. When I sat on the toilet there was a huge gush of clear fluid so I knew this was it. I was officially in labour! I remember we both just looked at each other in disbelief. This was really happening. We were going to have a baby! We called our families and doula to let them know we were on our way to the hospital.

 

We arrived at the hospital around 3am and waited in triage for what seemed like an eternity. At around 5am I and was assigned birthing room 12. While Simon went down to the car to get our bags, I rode through some pretty tough contractions. By 6am the contractions had gotten really painful so we called the doula and asked her to come to the hospital. Victoria arrived around 6:30am and immediately started helping me with the contractions. By around 7am I was begging to get in the bathtub.

 

I remember it felt marvelous. Simon and Victoria took turns aiming the shower sprayer on my lower back and belly. It was the only way I could manage the pain. I recall getting in the tub but everything after is a bit of a blurr. I can’t remember if I was in the tub for an hour or four. All I can remember is taking the contractions one at a time and thinking, “there is no way I can handle another”. The contractions were relentless, with almost no breaks. Just one after another after another. I begged for the epidural. Victoria, Simon and the nurse tried to talk me out of it and suggested other things but I was hell-bent on getting it...

 

Part Two tomorrow

 

Stay tuned!

xo, Vicky