Here's to Us

Dear Simon, 

Three years ago today we promised to love and support each other through the good times and the bad. It was a beautiful day; one we'll never forget. 

Wow, three years. 

It seems like yesterday but also seems like a lifetime ago. We've been through a lot in three years. Two houses, two dogs, one adorable kiddo, new jobs, vacations, road trips and unfortunately some sad moments. 

After all we've gone through in the past few weeks, I feel like I've never loved you more. You were with me through it all. You came every morning to visit me in hospital. You came to all the tests and scans. You held my hand. You told me everything was going to be ok. You tried to make me smile and laugh when I was so down I thought I'd never smile again. 

I would never have gotten through all of it without you. 

You make me laugh everyday. You tell me I'm beautiful all the time. You are the best Daddy in the whole world. You love making Quinn and I happy and as an added bonus, you always make sure the wine rack is well stocked. Seriously, what more could I ask for? 

I am so lucky to share my life with you. 

Love you more than I could ever say, 

Vicky

Halifax!

I've been meaning to post this for about a month, so now that I have a bunch of free time with the sick leave, I figure I better play catch up. 

Ahhh Halifax.

 One of our favorite places to visit.

Not only is it a beautiful place, but there are awesome people living there too.

Two particularly awesome Nova Scotia residents got married last month, hence our trip to Halifax this year.

Before I get into all the wonderfulness that was our East Coast trip, I think I'll get the logistical aspects of air travel with a tiny human out of the way.

Our experience went a little something like this:

Our flight was delayed 3 hours. Damn you Murphy's Law. Being stuck in your own city's airport is probably a lot like purgatory. Pretty sucky.

We bought Quinn a Sesame Street sticker book and a Dora the Explorer colouring kit for the plane. It saved our butts, I can't even tell you how many times.  We did however end up covered head to toe in stickers.

Simon insisted on bringing our backpacking pack for Quinn and am I ever glad we did. She ended up napping in it while we were at the airport and it was so convenient strapping her in there when we didn't want her running around the airport.

We fed Quinn things she should not have eaten (eg. sugar covered donuts) but they kept her quiet and entertained for all of ten minutes. Worth it.

Quinn also spent a good chunk of time looking out the windows of the airport. Watching planes land was pretty cool for her, but not as cool as watching a little moth fly around outside.  

Speaking of windows, Quinn loved nothing more than looking out the little plane window. Our flight was only an hour and half so she spent a good chunk of time looking out at the clouds and searching for birds.

Simon also got creative with his toddler distraction techniques. 

Overall Quinn was awesome both in the airport and on the plane; thank you toddler gods.

Now on to our awesome trip...

We hung out by the waterfront:

We trolled around downtown:

And we of course, went to Mike and Meg's wedding! 

Simon was Mike's best man and Quinn was the flower girl. 

Quinn did so well walking down the aisle, I was so proud!

My Aunt Heather visited Halifax the same time as us and offered to watch Quinn while we enjoyed ourselves at the wedding. After the dinner, Heather and Quinn headed up to the hotel room we reserved while Simon and I got some mingling and dancing in. Thanks again Heather!!!

Not only did we get to hang out with friends, we also got in some family time as well. 

I, of course, took no photos. But I stand by my reasoning that we were having too much fun to take pictures. 

My Uncle Ralph and his wife Susan live about twenty minutes outside Halifax and graciously hosted us for a few days. We stayed in their RV on their property, and let me tell you, it was pretty swanky.

All in all, we had a wonderful time and are looking forward to our next visit to Haliwood. 

xo, Vicky

The Worst Week of my Life

Ok here goes...

I was pregnant up until two Sundays ago. We were almost at the 'telling the world' stage until it all fell apart. 

It was a beautiful Saturday and I was feeling pretty good. 11.5 weeks pregnant and enjoying a day in Montreal with my sister and sister-in-law. I bought a cute little hat from Baby Gap,  and I looked for clothes for the body I anticipated to swell and grow as my little baby did. 

That night, after returning home from Montreal, I headed to my friend's ranch party. I met Simon and Quinn there as they had gone earlier in the day. It was a great day until I went to the washroom and saw blood. It wasn't a lot, but having gone through three other miscarriages, I knew this meant something was wrong. Simon kept assuring me spotting was normal and not to worry. But I knew. I knew this was going to end badly. 

And I was right. That night I woke up covered in blood. And it just kept coming. We called my parents at 3am to watch Quinn and went to the hospital. I was taken in right away and hooked up to an i.v. I ended up losing quite a lot of blood and at one point blacked out in the washroom and collapsed. 

The next morning I was taken to day surgery and had a D&C (dilation and curettage) which is a procedure to remove everything from the uterus. Everything went well, according to the doctors and nurses so I was sent home. Later that day I began to feel sick and feverish. By the time we went to bed my fever was pretty high so we called my parents again to care for Quinn so we could go to the hospital. 

This time we waited for five hours to be seen by a doctor, who didn't seem too worried about me even though I couldn't break the fever. We stayed at the hospital for almost twelve hours while I was hooked up to i.v. and antibiotics. The doctor suspected I had a bladder infection, so he prescribed me some antibiotics and sent me home. But by the time I got home, I was feeling worse than ever. I couldn't stop shaking and my temperature just kept rising. Simon went out to get my prescription filled and I decided to take a cool shower to try and break the fever. By the time Simon got home I was almost delirious with fever. I checked my temperature and it was 103.7. I told Simon to call an ambulance because I knew I was in trouble. Apparently at a fever of 104.5, internal organs start to shut down so I knew I needed help, fast. 

Fifteen minutes later, the ambulance arrived and we were on our way to the hospital again. I have never been so scared in my whole life. I remember thinking about dying and how I wanted so badly to live. I remember thinking about Quinn and how I was hell bent on making sure I was around to watch her grow and live her life. 

We arrived at the hospital and I was taken to observation right away. The doctor who had performed the d&c came to see me and was shocked at how sick I had gotten in such a short period of time. After several blood tests and cultures, they discovered that I had group A strep in my bloodstream. Just take a moment now to google that term. It will scare the pants off you, I guarantee. Essentially, I had a bloodstream infection, most likely contracted during surgery and things were looking pretty dicey. 

I stayed in observation for a while that night and then was admitted to the hospital. The first room I was assigned was a semi-private in the Mother/Baby unit. Seriously, how cruel is that? I had just lost my baby and had to lie there listening to all the freshly born babes crying. WTF? Needless to say we put up a stink and ended up being moved to a private room on another floor. 

I staying there from Monday to Friday last week and am I ever glad to be out of there. I'm home now but am hooked up to an i.v. pump that administers my antibiotics every eight hours. Every day I have to go to a clinic to have my i.v. antibiotics bag changed. Its a pain in the butt, but I only have another week of treatment. On the plus side, I get to carry around this sweet fanny pack...

I still can't believe all this happened. Thinking about the events of the past week, it just seems so surreal. As sad as it may sound, I find it hard to grieve the baby we lost because I am just so damn grateful to be alive. I am happy to be home, sleeping in my own bed beside my husband and not alone in a gross hospital room. I am happy to be be with my baby girl, watching her play and sing instead of being entertained with needles and blood pressure checks from the nurses. Bottom line I am just so happy to be here and so happy to have such an amazing family and awesome friends who love and support us. 

Pangs of sadness come and go, but overall I'm feeling just so grateful for the life I have. I know one day we'll be blessed with another baby, but I guess right now just wasn't our time. Right now I'm focusing on getting better and staying positive. 

Good things happen to those who wait, right? 

xo, Vicky